We’re not here to bad mouth mac and cheese.

Rent College Pads stand firmly behind macaroni and cheese, regardless of how you cook it. The classic Kraft mac and cheese dish obviously has its charms, with its powdered yellow substance that looks nothing like any cheese we’ve ever had. The fast-casual dining establishment Noodles and Company serves a plentiful mac and cheese dish that can serve as adequate nourishment for an entire day. And barbecue and soul food places have made mac and cheese a go-to side dish for many of us.

But as delightful as it is, mac and cheese is not a dish worth risking expulsion from school, as reportedly happened with a UConn student. He had to have his bacon jalapeno mac and cheese, and it was that desire that cost him dearly in the end.

There may be some foodstuffs that are worth extremes. A good steak comes to mind. Maybe an unlimited taco bar. But even a heavily complimented mac and cheese doesn’t make the list. As a public service, we’d like to point out other foods that are not worth risking expulsion over.

1. Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

A simple treat with a lot to love about it. The protein in the peanut butter makes this a viable breakfast or post-workout option and the jelly turns it into a snack you can enjoy, rather than just consume because you have to. And Uncrustables turned PB&Js into a portable delight.

But peanut butter lasts figuratively forever. We just checked our cabinet here at RCP headquarters, and there’s a jar of peanut butter that has an unclear origin. We don’t know when it was purchased. Maybe it was left behind by an old building tenant who roamed these halls before the first World War. But the expiration date isn’t for another six months. This stuff lasts forever. It will be waiting for you when you get home.

Don’t risk expulsion for PB&J.

2. Hot Dogs

Underrated is the simplicity and affordability of a hot dog. A pack of buns and a pack of wieners sets you back less than the average lunch meal. It’s frustrating that you’re always left with a couple extra hot dog buns once you’ve finished your pack, but that’s the cost of affordability we suppose.

The affordability of hot dogs is important to keep in mind, though. They seem like a special treat when we get them at a baseball game, but hot dogs are super basic. Street vendors sell them for $2 after bars close. Hot dogs are not a special food. Hot dogs will always be waiting for you at the grocery store, ready to eat within five minutes of your arrival home from purchasing them.

Don’t risk expulsion for hot dogs.

3. Grilled Cheese

Admittedly, a fancy grilled cheese is quite a treat. It seems like the last ten years have seen countless grilled cheese restaurants pop up. And these places take grilled cheese very seriously. They regularly use four or five cheeses. They add in avocados. They add in bacon. With cheese and bacon we have two of the ingredients for the chaos that inspired this article, so we’re a little concerned that the right mixture of grilled cheese ingredients could push someone to the edge.

But remember, a new grilled cheese restaurant will open in your college town within the next few months. We’re sure of it. So, wait it out.

Don’t risk expulsion for grilled cheese.

Follow the theme here? Most of these dishes are simplistic enough that you can create them on your own with a little bit – emphasis on little – of effort at home. Buy an extra ingredient or two and you too can make a fancy grilled cheese or mac and cheese.

Next time you’re grocery shopping, toss a peanut butter jar in your cart, take it home and forget about it until you’re starving and feeling like you’re ready to take on the establishment. It will calm your hunger and your rage, all while allowing you to remain enrolled in school.

2024-04-25 12:41:10 Dominic Anzalone